maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize