Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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