can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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