just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
