You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
