and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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