I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
