? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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