McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
