I'm really into asian looking animals
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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