i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Randomize
