The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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