Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
