I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
