fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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