scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
