that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
