I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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