the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have already put on my inside pants.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
