Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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