Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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