i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
