did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
