Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
