so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am one with the molecules
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
