I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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