i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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