I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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