Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dick very happy bro
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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