people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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