He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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