I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
