i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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