yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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