Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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