Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
