Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
