It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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