Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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