I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
