i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
