sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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