JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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