respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
