we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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