im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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