I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
