brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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