I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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