I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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