you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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