im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
