Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
